No, Doesn't Always Mean No

As you continue in your caregiving journey, you will be told no, A LOT. The word, no, is a standard answer from the individuals and institutions. I think it is an automatic response. They are overwhelmed by the number of individuals in their care and all the requests made of them. As long as your needs are valid and reasonable, do not give up. Below are some tips to help you receive the proper care you require for your loved one.

• Your first step is to write down your question. Once you are speaking with an individual, include the date, time, name of the person you are speaking with, their title, and their response to your question or request. Check out the blog post on taking notes.

• Don't hang up or walk away once you hear, no. Ask the individual why they said no. It might be a simple case that you need a different department or person. It also might be that the information they have is old or wrong.

• Does your person require a rolling table, an extra pillow, or closet space? Are you being told no because it is one table per person or they are swamped and don't want to add your want to their plate? Ask what you can do to help. If it is one table per person, then is there another option? It might be that two tables are fine, but they do not have extra tables. Can you provide your own table? For missing or adding pillows, toothbrushes, getting a beard trim, or a haircut? Is there a closet where the pillows and toothbrushes are stored? Could you access it without disturbing a nurse? Is there a sign-up list posted for haircuts? Did one of the roommates take over two closets? Look for solutions and present them to the staff.

• Get to know the nurses caring for your loved one. Get to know the Social Services Director. Stop by and say hello to them at each visit. Ask about your loved one. This ensures that they know someone is looking out for that person.

• If you are not permitted to retrieve the items, most likely it will be a wait for someone to bring them. If nothing happens within 10 min, then kindly ask again. It is ok if it is not immediate, but it should happen within a reasonable amount of time.

It is ok to stand firm if you believe the request is fair and will provide greater comfort. It all boils down to one thing. The institutions and staff are there to help the individuals in their care. If they are unable to provide the basics, then it is up to you to kindly help them remember who they are serving.